Wednesday, June 19, 2013

baby humans, benadryl pancakes, bath salts

"remember, you are not managing an inconvenience. you are raising a human being." - kittie franz*

A HUMAN BEING, people! that you MADE. and YOU, without having to take a test, or sign a contract (except the one that allowed the hospital and/or insurance company to violate you in ways wholly different than the baby did), or in any way prove your worthiness of such a momentous task, have been charged with bringing that little human being up in this crazy world - right and good and strong - and - just dysfunctional enough to be interesting ;) man, i'm afraid if i think too hard about this, my little brain will explode.

last night at bedtime both little critters had been liberally sipping the cuckoo koolaid. DM and i are both ragged and run down at the tail end of some brutal virus from those mutant daycare/preschool germs. he has a huge appeal due tomorrow and has been averaging about 4 hours of sleep a night for the past week or more. we briefly discussed benadryl pancakes (who doesn't love breakfast for dinner?!) but thought better of it. (KIDDING. i'm no coward. i don't need to hide my benadryl in breakfast foods. no. seriously. i really am kidding. i have never given my kids benadryl. mainly because DM and i both get nutty on nyquil and i am certain if i dosed my kids they'd turn into crazy bath salts zombie children on a cross-country flight.) anyway. it was my night to put Jack down, which is normally the "short straw" in our household, but he hadn't really napped and he went down without too much fuss. Colby, on the other hand, was putting up an uncharacteristic fight. finally DM just left her shrieking in her crib, closed the door, and said, "i'm just going to let her cry until she gets tired. i don't have the time or energy to battle with her right now."

i don't want to paint myself as the white knight here. normally DM has (MUCH) more patience with the kids than i, and since baby #2 arrived on the scene, has even taken the lion's share of middle-of-the-night wake-up-calls (after i batter him awake). but a) selfishly, i didn't want her to wake up Jack, and b) Colby really doesn't cry much, like for real, so when she does, i tend to take it more seriously. (being the seasoned parent that i am (ha!) i feel i can usually tell the difference between a "waa waa i want to watch more 'little einsteins'" cry and a "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?!?" cry, and this was the latter.) i will freely admit that most nights, had this situation occurred, i probably would have been half pissy about it and would have gone in their muttering in my head, "i already did my job for the night but sure, i'll just do your job too, while i'm at it, and don't worry, this is totally what i want to be doing right now, i don't at all wish i was cozying up with a book in bed instead..." but for some reason, last night, i didn't mind at all. i went in and got her and jedi mind-tricked her** to sleep on my shoulder, and held and rocked her long after i could have safely put her back down in the crib. sorry if this is just sickly saccharine but i just savored every second of that giant baby resting her curly sweaty little (big) head in the crook of my neck, and thought about how Jack barely lets us do this anymore (sad face!), and our days of Colby-as-a-baby are numbered, and the baby shop is CERRADO, so opportunities like these are something i should feel thankful for, not resentful of. (maybe i'm just a jerk. maybe the more "mommy" moms always feel this way, relishing the bedtime battles and the late night/early morning wake up calls as bonding opportunities. but not me. i mean, i love my kids and often truly enjoy their company. but usually i'm also pretty darn ready for them to hit the hay at the end of the day!)

maybe i'm PMSing. this sort of sappy introspection is not like me. i normally have to restrain my gag reflex when people get all teary-eyed over leaving their kids for the weekend and 1st birthdays and preschool graduations (sorry sister), and i even sort of (lovingly) roll my eyes at DM when he insists we go in and look at them while they're sleeping. (admittedly, it is when they're at their very cutest. but usually i don't think it's worth the risk of waking them up.) probably tonight i'll be back to silently praying PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND EVERYTHING HOLY. GO. TO. SLEEP. and if/when someone wakes in the middle of the night, it'll be me crying WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?!? but it was nice anyway. refreshing. a good moment. a good memory. and a good reminder that these little people aren't actually trying to ruin our lives. well, that's not true. sometimes they definitely are. but most times they're not and it's worth noting the difference. it's also worth remembering (at least, i often forget) that they are still so LITTLE and it's not fair to hold them to the same expectations as a grown adult. that is not to say they should be allowed to run roughshod over our lives. i think kids definitely need boundaries and rules and are generally capable of more than we give them credit for. but they are still kids. and they need the space and the freedom to do what kids do (gently trample over our lives ;)).

okay. the end. except for the other parts below.

* i love quotes. so many quotes. basically, i believe someone has already said every thing i could ever want to say, but better and pithier and more eloquently than me. regarding this quote in particular - check out this (and other) awesome ceramic plaques on etsy. i want them all. i dream of tiling a bathroom in them or something!

plaque: kittie franz quote. mbartstudios on etsy

this also applies to dogs. except not. because they're dogs. not humans. but at least, with humans, they eventually grow up and can leave home and get therapy and can blame you for everything bad in their lives. you are all your dog's (or cat's or rodent's) got. act accordingly.

** jedi-baby-mind-trick: this is a real thing. i think. unless i'm on crack. maybe someday i will provide a tutorial.

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