Friday, October 11, 2013

let sleeping babies lie

my husband has thrown down the gauntlet. he claims i am INCAPABLE of writing a blog post that is less than five pages long. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

this might sound like sacrilege. i know, generally, you should never EVER wake a sleeping baby. but. do you ever encounter that situation where your little one has decided to take a nap to end all naps and you're worried she'll sleep through dinner and be up 'til midnight? so you want her to wake up, but you don't actually want to wake her up?

try my foolproof method. guaranteed to work, or else, i will buy you more minutes of quiet time while your baby sleeps instead.

1) turn on the shower. this will do the trick for 60% of children.

if that doesn't work, proceed to step two:

2) get in the shower.

now if the kid is still sleeping, it's time to get serious.

3) put a shit-ton of shampoo in your hair. make sure you lather it up real good. see that some if it runs down into your eyes so you are suffering from temporary blindness. and, VOILA! your baby will magically begin screaming bloody murder for mama at this exact moment.

you're welcome. and sorry about the (hopefully temporary) retina damage.

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