Wednesday, November 27, 2013

give thanks

i posted this approximately three years ago. funny that i mention birth control and my belated honeymoon in costa rica and nicaragua where i planned to marinate in rum for 3 weeks. turns out i was, in fact, pregnant, and would spend most of my trip tethered to disgusting toilets, fainting on gnatty carpets and/or in a ghetto nicaraguan ER.

it's not thanksgiving yet, but i'm thankful already, and always...

reasons, just to name a few...


* iced coffee from 7-11, and crunchy soda fountain ice at am/pm.
* tj maxx and tarzshay.
target and i are on a break. i'm tired of getting used and abused by that dude. just kidding. i still love you! i'll see you next week. 

* my pimp pad. i love my house. but man it feels a lot smaller now than it once did!
* my best buddy, ole blue. that crazy fuzz bucket will always be my original baby, even though there has since been two new furry additions to our family (I'm referring to my hirsute little humans ;)) 
* emoticons.
* it's november and its 75 degrees outside.
Sadlyit is not 75 degrees in delaware.

* my husband is not a twat-waffle (this is my fave new word, can you tell? interestingly, urban dictionary.com fails to illuminate whether or not the term requires a hyphen). in fact, just the opposite. he is my best friend. also the best bartender and mixer of powdered beverages. and most importantly, THE BEST dad. makes my heart hurt. in a good way.
* eggnog.
spiked. obv.

* the best group of friends, EVER. SO thankful for my friends, who make me laugh so hard i need pantiliners... who make me feel smart and skinny and pretty and witty, and like i'm not a complete and total fuck-up at this mom gig. i'm so glad that - so far - we've survived the "30 year spread" GD warned us about! ;)
* a new laptop that takes less than 17 minutes to accomplish any given task.
* my fam, especially my sis, bro, pops, and of course mister bacon bit..
(ahhh! bacon is FIVE. wtf.) and last but not least, my hearts, Jackson jay and Colby Jean. 

* trader joe's and henry's for letting me pretend i'm healthy.
* the internets. kind of a love-hate thing :)
* the encinitas library. where i now wear a disguise. (see backlink, above).
* birth control. more thankful for this now than ever - though i chose i more idiot proof route this time around ;)
* the sheer magnitude of calories burned in hot yoga. yo-what? the only exercise i've done since june is... never mind. does it count if you think about exercising?
* blockbuster nights. i remember those. *sigh.* 
* cheese. bread. or better yet, cheeseandbread. manhattan giant pizza and pillsbury crescent rolls. alcoholic beverages derived from grapes. cholula, tobasco, sriracha, chili garlic and sweet chili sauce. ranch. garlic salt. avocados. berries. fresh-squeezed oj. real whipped cream. crepes.
* people that give the courtesy wave... let you cut in line when you only have one item in your basket... and all other random acts of kindness.
* a $10 pedicure, even if its a little scary.
eff that. i can afford a grown up pedicure now.

* flowers and funny love notes. i remember those. *sigh.* ;)
* dinners out, not to mention the fact that we can afford them. sort of. this is me on "date night" - it's like when you're in a cab and you only have a finite amount of cash and you see the meter just ticking up by the second... i'm like, okay, dinner is $80. the movie is $40 (because we are spoiled and only like to go to the "fancy" aka fat lazy people theaters). popcorn? soda? nah, i'm good. i'll just have some water from the drinking fountain over here and these smooshed linty milk duds from the bottom of my mom purse, deeelicious! .... man, this blooper reel is gonna cost us another $10... sorry honey, we can make out once we get back home and pay the sitter. i'm such a romantic ;)
* bev-mo's 5 cent wine sale. more thankful for this now than ever. those kids. i love them to death but they drive me to the drink.
* facebook's privacy settings. Ha. "privacy."
* working from home. and gainful employment in general. so grateful to be able to take care of myself and my family in a time when so many are deprived of this basic dignity. also thankful that I can work NOT from home in order to maintain a small shred of my sanity ;)
* the baskin robbin's employee who asked me if i had a preference, top or bottom (for my scoops of ice cream, of course!)
* farmer's markets and street fairs. and etsy. and pinterest! it's like a street fair for my mind! and free!
* funfetti cupcakes and homemade cookie dough.
* i am thankful in advance for the kindle that santa is bringing me for christmas!
maybe santa will bring me a new new kindle this year, seeing as my crazy midget roommates like to use mine as a tennis racket.

* plane tickets to and from central america, with 3 weeks in between. can we get a mulligan???
* mochi balls. except the green tea flavor that tastes like an ash tray. ooh. i forgot about those. i need those. except maybe not right now, seeing as i've been gaining a pound a day with the inlaws ;)
* thanksgiving in delaware that will consist of sitting, chatting, watching football, and eating. and eating. and eating. my kind'a party!*
* the fact i no longer have to buy a whole cd with 13 songs i don't like. sorry eddie veder and other itunes haters.
now, i just spend hundres of dollars on pop music $1.99 at a time! ;)

* clean public bathrooms. amen! especially with children! playing the "oh please for the love of god don't touch that" game is so not fun!
* a cold rainy morning. um, yeah, that was before toddlers.
* live music in small venues.
* obama. and michelle.
  i still think michelle is cool ;)

* push up bras and anti-muffin-top thongs. if only i had the muffin top now i thought i had then!
* the fact that i don't have to use books to shepardize cases (or conduct legal research in general).
brunch!
* the retired sheriffs volunteer patrol.
omg i love them.


a lot has changed in three years!!! wooeee. i'm still thankful for all the same basic things - family, friends, bread, cheese, books, booze, music, sunshine... I'd probably add iPads, chicken nuggets, Cheerios, gold fish, fruit snacks, fat pants, under eye concealer and dry shampoo. you know, the essentials...

*i am also particularly thankful for my "adopted" family (aka my inlaws) this year. i know for most or at least a lot of people, the holidays are about "going home." but i don't really have a "home" to go to. i feel bad saying that. i love my dad like nobody's business, and he even lives in my grandma's old house, but he's remarried and has a stepdaughter, the house has been remodeled, they have 5 cats, his dog tried to eat my son, little things like that... and ... it's just not the same. who knows. if my mom and stepdad were still alive, we'd probably be vacationing in mexico together as opposed to having stuffing and pie in sac-town, but i miss the idea of home, the feeling of it. that reminds me of this quote i love from the movie Garden State:

"It's like you feel homesick for a place that doesn't even exist. Maybe it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't ever have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I don't know, but I miss the idea of it, you know. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people that miss the same imaginary place."

anyway. it occurred to me this year that, after .. .what... six? seven? eight? years of going back east with my husband for the holidays, this is probably the closest thing i have to a "home." right down to the part where a seven day stay might be better in theory than in practice. haha. kidding. sort of ;) seriously though. i am just very thankful for this enormous, nutty family that makes me feel like i'm one of them. they have graciously welcomed me into their hearts and their lives and their overflowing dinner tables. they cook countless vegetarian dishes where meat is king. we still eat at "the kids' table." they cheerfully add serious poundage to our midsections. they love my children unconditionally, even when they are in the midst of one of their psychotic breaks. they tell me about DM as a kid. they argue, loudly, about politics and religion. they tell the same stories again and again. on occasion, they make awkward and/or extremely inappropriate comments. in other words, it feels just like home! and i'm just really happy to be here :) 

that is all. happy (tof)urkey day!

ps, i apologize in advance for typos and other weirdness, i am writing this on a keyboard with a broken space bar, where the T, H, F, B, G, and all vowels require brute force to type, and the internet connection appears to be routed through zimbabwe. omg. seriously. can't even spell check. it's so slow it's painful. like it is literally causing me physical pain. it is kind of making me want to hang myself with the wire that is connecting the mouse to the computer. i repeat. there is a wire. connecting the mouse. to the computer.
HA!
source: http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/

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