Friday, March 27, 2015

she's HERE

Sooooo..... I just wanted to casually remind all of you that I AM IN A BOOK!!!!

 Ain't she purdy?????
click HERE to buy on Amazon.
click HERE to buy on iTunes.
click HERE to buy at Barnes & Noble.
OR, if you'd like a super fancy signed copy by a practically famous author lady, hit a sister up.
I feel like a bit of a fraud, because my children are actually quite respectful of bathroom privacy. But don't tell anyone. I don't want to get kicked out of the club.

Also because, on the scale of internet famosity, 1 being someone you've never heard of before in your entire life, and 10 being Kim Kardashian, I'm like a negative-zero, and my co-contributors are all solidly in the upper echelons.

The other day someone was sending around a draft for a press release (what?!) where each of the 40 authors were supposed to list their crowning achievements. Everyone else has books, beaucoup awards, TV appearances, etcetera. I literally have nothing of note. Short story titled "Vegetable Face" chosen for "publication" in St. Philomena's Wings of the Dove (think pieces of binder paper stapled together and shoved in a Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper). Won a calendar contest for PG&E that same year (third grade was a good year for me). Wrote for Law Review, helped draft an appeal to the Ninth Circuit, spend many hours writing boring legal things. 139 Facebook likes. Taye Diggs followed me on Twitter.

At least for my next book, I will have something to write: Contributor, I Still Just Want to Pee Alone, by Some More Kick Ass Bloggers. (Wait! Does that make me a Kick Ass Blogger?! Yeeeah boyyyy!) Effusive thanks to her royal high-lariousness Jen Mann for including such a complete and total rookie in the ranks!

And in case you need further evidence of my authorial legitimacy - may I proudly present to you, my AMAZON AUTHOR PAGE!!!!! (Sorry for the shouty caps. I'm just a teensy bit excited.)

BUY THE BOOK! If you liked it, write glowing reviews on Amazon and Goodreads. Receive bountiful karmic retribution in the form of complex carbohydrates and dairy products and fermented grapes. If you hated it, maybe skip the review, get your funny bone checked, and no grapes for you! ;)

Thank you and good day!

Oh and if you're interested in the skinny on this soon-to-be bestselling piece of fine-ass literature:

I STILL Just Want to Pee Alone is the third installment in the national best-selling series of anthologies published by Throat Punch Media. The previous two have sold over 40,000 copies to date and are both continually ranked in the top 20 of their category on Amazon. The original I Just Want to Pee Alone is on the New York Times Best Sellers List. We expect this one to do well too.

The previous two books have over 500 reviews on Amazon with an average of 4.5 stars.

This book has 40 contributors with a social media reach of 1.2 million fans (and growing) on Facebook.

Many of the contributors to this book are award-winning writers who have appeared on the NYT best-seller's list, Huff Po, Scary Mommy, LifetimeMoms, NickMom. (< I am not one of those award-winning writers. YET. ;))

You know you want to, too!