Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Presidential Prereqs

Alright hangonaminute. Let me get this straight.

Have penis. Puke on Japanese Prime Minister and then faint. = PASS. It's all good. I mean, slightly embarassing but also kinda hilarious. No worries, man!

Have vagina. Faint/almost faint because you have fucking pneumonia and even still you tried to power through a public event because you knew if you didn't show up, that, too, would be a sign of weakness = FAIL. I'm sorry! Better luck next century! You're too fragile and frail for this office. May I interest you in this velvet settee for the express purpose of lady faints instead?

Girl. I am sweaty, nauseous and fainty just gettin' 'em ON!
Caissie St. Onge on The Twitter
America, to Hillary: "SHOW NO WEAKNESS! Okay well now you just look like a bitch. BE HUMAN! Relatable. NO, NOT LIKE THAT!"

A woman can’t afford to stay home and nurse a cold – or even recover from pneumonia – when she’s trying to break through a glass ceiling,” writes Dahleen Glanton in the Chicago Tribune.

Story of my fucking life. Not to mention, when you still have kids at home, you don’t get to call in sick, even when you have pneumonia (speaking from experience), because you already used all your sick days on your bite-sized biohazards (that you love dearly and thank your blessings for daily, of course, thank you and amen).

It’s such BS. I think I’ve already mentioned this before, but a while back, shit was hitting the fan in work and life and the kids were sick (and of course they never get sick at the same time, no no no, that would be too simple. God/Karma/Mother Nature like to space it out to maximize the professional collateral damage).

Anyway, DM and I were having to alternate days home with the little sickies and he was getting frustrated and I was like, “I’m so sorry, I hate that feeling when you know you’re going to get those passive aggressive comments from your bosses and you feel like you have to work double-time to get out from under the assumption that you’re a slacker.” He looked at me funny and said, “No one at work cares. They understand sick kids. I just have a bunch of shit to do.”

Oh. Well. That must be nice.

Sincerely,

Angry feminist lawyer mama.
Courtesy of HillaryMoji from the App Store
BY THE WAY - If a male President/Candidate actually had pneumonia, he'd probably have Air Force One fly him to the Vatican so the Pope could personally perform his last rites. Just sayin. 

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