Thursday, November 3, 2016

Look Mom, No Politics!

I promised yesterday's post would be the last political post of the season. I've got itchy fingers, but I will abide. Scout's honor.

I don't have time to pore through my journals for a full-blow edition of Shit My Kids Say, but this one cracked me up so I am going to share.

Yesterday, we were looking at baby pictures, and Jack said to Colby, "See right there? That's where they cut the cord where you're attached to your mama. They cut it out of your stomach with a knife and it hurts, and it leaves a scar which is your belly button."

Me: The just cut the cord part, with scissors actually. They don't cut your stomach. And it doesn't hurt.

Colby [face contorted in horror]: THERE'S A CORD ATTACHING BABIES TO MAMAS???

Jack: Well. Anyway. That's why I don't want to get married. Because if I get married then my wife will want to have kids and I don't want to be dealing with all of that.

Me: Not all wives want to have kids.

Jack: Well mine probably would. So, no wives for me.

Me: I didn't particularly want to have kids, but then I met Daddy, and I had you, and now look at me! I mean, where would I be without you two? I'd be lost! I can't imagine! Can you even imagine?

Jack: Yeah, I can imagine. You'd be like, "What was I talking about?" And Daddy would say, "I don't know, I wasn't listening." And you would say, "Seriously?" So. Good thing you had us or that would be your life.

Me [between snorts of laughter]: Good thing! (For the record, having two children has not helped much in the "Am I talking to the wall???" department!)

(This isn't the first time Jack has professed an aversion to fatherhood. A couple months ago he said "I don't want to have kids because I don't want to change any diapers and I really like my alone time." Fair enough.)

Colby: Yeah, you didn't want to have kids but then Daddy said "Children are very useful" so you did and you are so lucky because now you have us to help you with stuff like doing laundry and setting the table.

She's onto me ;)

So anyway, like I always say: Kids. The biggest mistake you will never regret. Plus the added perqs of conversation carriers and free labor. Because my kids are so good at listening and chores ;)

Worth it. One hundred bajillion times.


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